dads against unfair child support

I used to give him money for food on his weekends so that he would not cancel on them. Yet stated I make more than she does, I dont need a new car I just want something fair. Thats worth way more than any amount of money for child support. She changed her number and said we wouldnt contact her and rejected all our certified letters. Rose, stop ur man bashing cause that isnt a sign of good parenting on ur part. If it is 50/50 or split depending on your state law and her income you MIGHT havre to help her otherwise. The system is not kind towards men. After the child reaches 18 years of age, let see who the better parent was in the childs eyes, not the courts. And my husband turned 70 today!!! I dont tbink I am the only father who has felt this and I dont know how anyone can get through the feeling of the child not wanting to spend time with them. Since 1990, Maryland has had child support guidelines, which provide a formula for calculating child support based on a proportion of each parent's gross income. I just want my baby back. You said something about his room and the mattress. I have even seen thia to be true with foster kids. And the courts should revise theyre laws accordingly. I did however find that paralegal services can help significantly to wording and filing the proper paperwork. Your situation is in the minority overall. You are bitter because you lost your son 50% of the time. We pay out more for kids than either of my cases which allows me to know how much it costs to raise a child which is a fraction of what I pay. Sorry I missed payments for a while, here is a new car for you. . The other reason why I didnt take her to court because the judicial system is all in favor of the woman and not the kids or fathet. Now that I see it from the fathers side I cant believe how one-sided this system is. Ive had custody of my 7 year old son for 4 years now.. Its time to demand the following: She said that most of the judges in family court are suppose to chose 50/50 parenting, because that is in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD! He has not contributed financially to her expenses in the last 3 years either. DOWN WITH THE MEN is all I hear them saying anymore. The family court judge then denied my parenting time credit and credit for the health insurance that I provide for my children because my ex-wife is voluntarily unemployed, and is using the child support to support herself and her paramour. Ex. (yes fair and equal treatment under the law). Im kinda in the same boat, but Im not going to be a slave or indentured servant: Im going to take my life before that happens. She can move on with her income, mg income and the new mans income, they like that idea. As far as their concerned, the system isnt broke, infact it just fine. Jade I am sorry you have know earthly idea what you are talking about. Kids were not home they must have been at a friends house. Why is it that men in the midst of the great depression were not thrown in jail. A parent should be able to see their kids if they are paying, paternity testing should be done before payment is received, if arrearages are getting high( then a caseworker should call and ask for a modification). After 2 years i finally got the answer she could sign a waiver to dismiss the arrears. I further tried all my best to get him back but all my effort to get him back in my life did not work out. You are being conspired against as soon as you enter the court room. I say we rise up as a community, and slap a mass law suit on the state and federal governments for knowingly infringing on our constitutional rights. I know many women will not agree with what I have to say, but its what I think. So if your work schedule interferes, its okay to leave the kid at Moms until it works better for you, right? The single parent has to pay for what the child needs despite what kind of time theyre going through. False allegations of abuse. If I could afford to drive the extra couple hours to see my kids during the week I would but there is not enough time in a day or gas money in the bank to support this. Home / Articles / 4 Problems With The Modern Child Support System. I tried to be Nice, I begged my husband to please give his kids time, love and support. She chooses to live with her parents and work a bs job collecting my money each week instead. And I have no criminal record. My ex lived off child support alone for a few months, after she was fired. And the court in Arkansas doesnt care at all that we have 6 children now. Long story short if Your gona be a great Dad, Your gona have to pay alot of alot of $$$ .God bless and Thank You Jesus for taking care of my needs and keeping me healthy enough to work. Do you see some of these complainers?? But now because my childs mother is bitter she goes and puts me on child support but claims it was only for insurance. I had to spend 30 K on attorney to get 50-50 Custody. And the father of your child seems like the mother of my children, she tries to control my household and finances. I can say hes father and i have a healthy relationship not that i wouldnt need the help.But my son is far more inportant that to put him in stress of seeing me and hes father arguing for money . My wife decided to have an affair and marry the guy. How come they give illegal aliens welfare but dont make them get a job, any job to pay it back?????! You cant control him anyways. We all parent together and have boundaries to ensure my son can love all his parents- my kid is almost 18. We need new laws over child support that's more fair and reasonable jail time over late support payments only makes things. Stop blaming the mom for your own failure to show up. How can you justify $1,000.00 in support monthly? Beging close minded and one sided is what is wrong with the system. Also, you have to be behind $5,000 or $10,000 to be put in jail. I battle ptsd and still face constant harrassment from my exs wife, while any attorney ai have gotten has been seemingly paid off to thwart any justice for me and my daughters. Hes case is real to him just as your case is just as real to you. No, the system is not outdated youre thinking of alimony. but going back to your point is that I think if a women who has 3 kids and receives $287 a month then any other women can make it. She wants for nothing, and is more fortunate than most kids who are growing up in 2-parent homes. His ex was on housing, having to list how much child support she was receiving. This is a problem in our society. Like the father would not pay for 2 years an guess what not once did he go to court or see a jail cell for it an he owed over $1000 so why isnmy wife being brought to court for $250 an he doesnt get brought into court for $1000. She doesnt spend the CS on them and beyond paying her each month, I purchase the majority of clothes, their car, their extra curricular activities, pay for all their cell phones all because she refuses to. Thats it! For me, thats with the 20k but at the end of the day, what that system puts well intended fathers through is brutal and I sometimes wonder if the system is part of the reason some people just lose it and do crazy things. If the dad was the only income and moved out a stay st home mom will not be making the same money going back into the work force. Your assumption is that people have children under ideal circumstances where the parents have good paying jobs, a big house with a nice picket fence, and two cars in the driveway and $1,000.00 is chump change. The FEDS help the states to ensure dad pays. Stand up for yourself and youll be standing up for future generations. I work hard to sustain my lifestyle and to take care of my child. The single best thing for avoiding child support is to spend time with your children. He got her for child support and took full custody of the children said she was going to leave the state which is not true. Child support should be a shared responsibility to provide for the care and maintenance of children, not a requirement to provide a government mandated lifestyle for the children, and by inference, the custodial parent. I have a child that I was seeing everyday I picked him up from school everyday then went and cooked him dinner before I met backup with his mother I spent thousands of dollars on daycare alone with no help paid out of pocket for medical because she wasnt going to do it also got him every weekend. Yes, there are some deadbeat dads out there. The worst offender is Indiana, which charges 1-1/2 percent interest per month. I get my kids 45/55 and she doesnt use the majority of my money for my kids. I hear women I would say 97% of the time now saying they need to find a Baby daddy so they can get a new paycheck this is reality what are we going to do about this!!! She abused him to the point he stopped coming home and slept in his truck. The current system does help in some instances but in this one i believe it created greed. She has been staying with me for 3 years. He loves all of his kids so much and would do anything for them and she could care less about her kids especially their daughter and he is the one with his rights threatened just because he cant we cant afford to send more than 300 dollars a month just so our daughter we have together has food and shelter!! Agree with Bob Grise. (I live in Florida if that helps) they may have an unofficial agreement that hasnt been brought to court (Im not exactly sure about that) im Afraid that if my dad stops paying the support than my mom will try to bring it to court and do something crazy. For example if my rent is $300 dollars and my child support is $500 just between rent and child support by itself that is 9600. He tried to be as involved as he was allowed. No idea what mom was using all the money for. Many fathers sincerely want to do right by their children, but simply don't have the means to do so. So basically she just got free money so she can go on another month long vacation. How is it fair that I foolishly got with a woman who lied about her past was intimate with me and then breaks up for me after she gets pregnant and then remarries and ironically has another child. When they arent, they want and/or need financial help raising their child(ren) because often they have stayed home to raise them, and that was the agreement/understanding during the marriage. We both have homes with bedrooms for the kids and clothes etc. Its about creating a healthy life and situation for the children. Deadbeat dads a myth? Always remember a woman has a choice who she sleeps with, just like a man has a choice on who he marries. So how will my kids stay with me when all I have is a rented bedroom? CS and spousal supprt etc., is considered in your overall ability or inabilitty to pay your debts off and your financial burden. "It's a case of, 'Get your lazy behind off the couch,'" Trout says of judges addressing stay-at-home dads, adding that he heard one judge say almost precisely that. Both parents are not required to be working. So just like every other tax-man I have ever met you are woefully uninformed and clearly do not have a gasp of real life sufficient to comment on real world matters. I have been paying child support for 18 years, i received papers showing case closed and even got a refund check back for overpaying, this is North carolina that i am talking about, so 2 weeks ago i got a letter stating that my child support was reopened and now i am 2 months in arrears and now put in for garnishment. I, like so many of you, am a single mother of one 10 year old. My family court judge refused and stated that Your [ex-]wife (NOT our children) deserves that money. 2) Yes, 50/50 should probably be the default. Why should that man, who doesnt have a large income, be forced into a situation where he has to struggle just to make ends meet when the woman is perfectly capable of working and has a job herself? System should be changed where if a parent wants child support then the jobless parent MUST have a full time job. Federal law says they cant take your passport or licenses away. Regardless of whether you have a child or not housing costs will always exist. Or, if the noncustodial parent knows the custodial parent is struggling, they are welcome to either support the childs parent financially, or help that parent get a job, and then the custodial parent would be denied welfare. She stopped letting me get my daughter giving me every excuse in the book. Amen. My X uses me as a cash machine. I have to save for a month to be able to take them to a movie. Dont be afraid, make sure that the powers that be, the judge, understands that you are not in agreement of any order that violates your rights as a human being, that is, your right to parent your child as you see fit. and your civil rights are being violated and definitely hire an attorney. Lets not forget you get behind and they take away your right to drive how do you get to work when they suspend your license too such a screwed system it takes 2 to make a kid and one to pay when they split up come on someone fix this issue. Now look at it from my standpoint; the wife of the husband whose wife married him just long enough to get pregnant and leave. All report similiar injustices when we share stories. try again. I would come home after 16 hrs of work to be bombarded with kids being hungry. These guidelines are applied unless a party can show that the application of the . The Child Support Performance and Incentive Act creates financial incentives to both place the children with the lower earning parent, and to restrict the non-custodial parents access to their children. I managed to grow up and become successful and am now paying 6 more years of very punitive CA child support to a woman in PA who stole a sperm from me basically when I was young and stupid socially (despite book smarts) now I have a pretty daughter Ive never seen on the other side of the country. Every time the father went to see him they said he wasnt home or playing.The mothers defense is that she was overwhelmed. But the system is unjust. Feminists? Sorry ur 50/50 custody was outrageous, but it works for many parents and it certainly is more positive a situation for most children to have both parents raising them normally. Is that wrong? Oh, by the way, he old paid it because I filed for divorce and took him to court. This creates a financial incentive for states to order sole custody with the lower earning parent, and to restrict the noncustodial parents access to their children because it increases the gross amount of child support collected. I have my children 3 Nights a week, 3.5 days a week, the garnishment was sent to my employer, the first amount is 213.00, plus an additional 6.00 applied towards back child supppt. Pass the word.I know I am not the only one come forward. Well both parents should be paying for the kids and it doesnt matter if the woman makes good money or not. As stated by someone above I am a money supplier and a babysitter. Lets do something people !!! My son is now 12 i never asked nore put my sons father on child support all i asked of him is to be there for hes son and buy him clothes and shoes and any school needs . The child support system is Set up to PUNISH the hard working parent and MOTIVATE the lazy parent to continue to be jobeless and lazy. I for once dont even bother in asking for money. Her dad and I were together for 6 years and went our separate ways when she was turning 4 years old. Its very simple unless youve been the one to pay your exes new car payment while driving ole trusty rusty you have no idea. There are a couple of other pages, but its the same thing in other languages. Hes tried to run over my kids and myself more than once. While I try to build up time spent with her mom. This problem might be solved with an Attorney. Her mom doesnt pay me any child support, never has. KS sucksSupposedly we are a 50/50 state, but that is only if both parents agree. Daycare??? When unpaid child support payments accumulate, this often snowballs into another issue: parental alienation. I know Im not good with all this court stuff but anyways they got me for contempt of court for not having that paper after trying to explain that I had brought it the first time well I have been making payments seems my first court appearance thankfully for family and my fianc but the judge is saying that isnt good enough and they want a paper from my doctor with certain information on it that my doctor is even confused about and all the judge keeps telling me is Im looking at a lot of jail time and I may look like one of these guys who has been in and out of the pin but Im not in a great dad and love my kids the only people they are hurting is my children and they dont see that and I cant figure any way out of this I am paying my support and a little extra on my support then Im ordered to it isnt a whole lot extra but Im making a effort and concistent and my court appointment lawyer that I finally got said that she doesnt understand what there issue is either its like they have it out for me because the way I look and when I told the judge I have been paying child support for 16 years he said that doesnt count for anything wth does it count for Im very disappointed in the child support system and my kids are going to loose a father because these courts screwed up and nobody is to blame at the courts when are they to be held accountable for there actions. To keep that monopoly money coming in the mother must deprive the NC parent access to maximize payments. Wehave three girls ages 10, 14 and 17. It is a source of public debate, with many people arguing that the child support system unfairly disadvantages fathers who pay excessive amounts in comparison to what they receive in return. (Insert male grunt here). Please see both: http://www.fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf and https://web.archive.org/web/20150219014614/http://answerisland.com/child-support-kickbacks.html. Just because we divorced does not make him less of their father. The process will continue whether you want to participate or not. Women, we are no better, because we allow this behavior. The Judge asks my council to hold a telecon with my exs council in the Judges chambers. If they didnt want the above, they would have listened to Karen DeCrow. Im trying to get my ex-wife to agree to use a child support trust account in the form of a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both parents contribute to in order to provide for the childrens needs, but both our family court judge and her lawyer are balking. To go to court to fight custody is another half. For some people its worth it to be happy, but its not easy. Why not suspend child support as punishment!? I know I am ranting, but the system is so bias it is ridiculous. Her mother lost the case in civil court and that made her mad enough to try to change custody. Seriously if I end up in jail for failure to pay the full amount owed in Child support. Current Child Support Laws Are a Barrier to True Shared ParentingExcellent article. My father is a firefighter/ paramedic and makes a fairly good income but is struggling financially because he has to pay child support to my mother even though he has custody. I contacted him through his email and he assured me that in two days time my boyfriend is going to leave the other girl and come back to me and it was a very great surprise to see my boyfriend coming back to me after two days. Meanwhile, their mother has written off my son and refused to help with anything now that hes emancipated. You rock! Gets paid straight cash, and has since 1997. Not long after the piece ran, Congress passed a law forcing states to adopt stricter enforcement practices when collecting past child support debts. The childrearing crazy, I know! Thank god I work at a restaurant. In my experience almost all divorced women claim to be abused. I Love my child bottom line that what shud matter .The father s spend more time with there child.Why is it all down to money? Office of Child Support Enforcement. How can a person be expected to support someone else, if he isnt able to take care of his own survival needs, and is being forced into poverty by the states ridiculous statutes.? but then i dare you to speak the truth not just your truth. The couple shared physical custody 50/50. Most single parents are actually working and spend more than 20% on their child, even when theyre getting child support, kids are very expensive. My own years as single father were lean,. Then she brought in a hand written note that anyone could of wrote. My sons dad had to call support to talk to a woman about something, and she was horribly rude to him! I havent seen my daughter in over 3 years due to the fact my ex found out I was getting married and was having a child with my wife. But the current laws assuming just because you made 25.00 and do not have that income anymore and make less should not be held against you. Spoken like someone who expects someone else to foot the bill. Focusing on the child's best interests and a parent's obligation to provide timely financial disclosure, Canada's highest court made it clear that parents must pay child support consistent with their income. Not every divorce is by mutual choice. And I can see when the child support check is cashed off my bank statements Each month its cashed a weekend I have my girls And the next week when I get my girls back They didnt do anything but sit on their tablets and didnt get snacks like they do with me (fruits and vegetables) but their mother does have a brand new car, The problem is no one wants to advocate for the fathers. My son graduated 2 weeks ago ,lives with her,works 2 jobs and is 18. I should have married an Omish woman! I just dont see how the Courts expect us to be able to make AND have a normal relationship with our kids. Why cant we just go 50/50 on all the extra to make it fair? The custodial parent isnt without responsibility, have we all forgotten that. Reform Family Law and Family Courts As a father, I pay support for my three and now two daughters and always haveand also contributed what I could for Birthdays, Xmas school cloths and whatever else they needed. Sisters and (brothers) who are raising your children alone; keep the faith. Why should we have to pay for your child when you have both the ability to pay and the responsibility to pay? The family would adjust for that period. Thats what I signed up for when I had a kid. You will then find that the state is the real and true DEADBEAT! An my wife owes only a couple of months so she owes $250 in child support an thats only cause i was takin out of work due to back injuries like spinal stenosis, degenerative discs an a pinch sciatic nerve in my left leg. Introducing the Unfairness of Child Support for Fathers: A Closer Look Child support is an issue that has been under the microscope for decades. SInce the family of 6 receives so much state aid, I am now being taken back to court to pay twice the original agreed upon amount, even though in front of the Agency lawyer and judge the mother says she does not need me to pay more to support her other children. These are two very different things. Medical, dental, optical, school supplies, books, clothes, fun stuff, sports equipment, exs vehicle payments, insurance and registration, all outstanding debt. My husband pays almost 1200 a month in support, yet the kids always complain that they dont see any if it. I mean come on America wake up we are living in the most underhanded corrupt developed nation in the world!!! Therefore it should be no problem for you to do the right thing and give up your parental rights while sending a large portion of your income to your sons father to do as he wishes with. There were many times when my husband went to pick up his kids, and either one or both of them wouldnt even be home, his ex having let them go elsewhere, even though it was his turn to have them. She died in 2014, and a lot of them paid lip service to her after having not talked to her for decades because they stabbed her in the back for being the first fathers rights feminist. They are both under the mistaken impression that custodial parents (NOT their children) are entitled to child support payments. I have always stood behind the fact that the state is prejudice against dads and is one of the main causes for deadbeat dads. This is a basic civil right. There are causes and fights for just about everything under the sun but this? 750 a month daycare? Child supp0rt took almost all he made leaving us with a home in disrepair, while she took vacations on that money we were sending her!! Half of the amount that Mr V is paying would be more than enough to support a great quality of life for his children. This is what you call corruption, plain and simple, It is sad really. The reality is that men, currently in this socially driven society (that is afraid of arousing the wrath of anti-men feminists, the entire movement basically), are screwed completely in custody battles. The Office of Child Support Enforcement assures that support (both financial and medical) is available to children through locating parents, establishing paternity, identifying support obligations, and enforcing those obligations. I let her keep the house and she stabbed me in the back and talked to the kids behind my back about where they would live. I made all the mistakes. Deadbeat dads are not the norm at all nowadays. My ex wife was ordered to pay $55/wk, but is now $60G behind because shes never been enforced to pay. NO detailed study has determined why the courts are making these such biased determinations, but its clearly cant have much to do with fathers vs mother characteristics, nor an objective assessment of whats best for the children, because there is virtually no strong evidence supporting female parenting over shared parenting. Jade, why do so many women want to be custodial parent if its such a burden? I help them with their homework, have a good relationship with my ex wife and have my kiddos 3 days out of the week. The State calculator yielded a "Fair child support figure of $450.00 that Bob was to pay. It sounds like a . This makes no sense? Till it ends though, a change is badly needed as fathers out there shouldnt have to go through this. After 10 years of never being late, my husband had major surgery and was out of work for a year we kept paying until we couldnt and did the right thing and made a court date. They have done everything to make her look like the worse mother in the world. This isnt a parental rights situation. Only for her to go for child support which she never paid to him she was barley in their childrens lives before they were 3 and 4 . His support order is $750 a month. In the long term that is 100% more essential the the childs long term development. Im sorry your situation was as it turned out to be but know that yours is not the norm. You are not entitled to them. If the mother works and makes $140k a year, then your annual child support obligation of $20,892 does not even come close to what she is contributing to the care of your kids if she is the custodial parent. Your entire scenario is just about a number-for-number match of the situation Ive been in.. Phyllis MacCutcheon licensed in CT and NM only. In family law, tales of fathers who pay exorbitant child support and rarely get to see their kids are commonplace. 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Continue whether you want to be but know that yours is not outdated thinking. And youll be standing up for yourself and youll be standing up for future generations with...

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